hungover.

in every way - mentally, physically, emotionally.

i am so done.

if the other half is reading this, i love you.

return of the mack.

Been a while since I last posted, but nothing really new to report other than my latest conquests.

Been with the big sister basically everyday, tonight adventure with her and the other half hopefully, and tomorrow a road trip to Ocean Grove to see my girls. Dreading school after about six months off and I still don't know what I'm doing with the rest of the year, let's just hope it's better than the last.

Switched from Marlboro Reds back to Dunhill Reds and I'm considering switching to PJ Blues for a while, more bang for your buck plus they're not as heavy.

prime.

I have a new feeling of self worth, and the revenge plan is in place, and man does it feel good.

sunny side up.

A revenge plan, a trip to Savers tomorrow, my phone finally connected to my shitty laptop, a belly full of pizza, a visit paid to Allem today, a new deck, an idea for a hairstyle, and insane motivation - although my rage and fury are about to cause a spontaneous human combustion, I must say, things may finally be lookin' up.

Although it's probably way too early to speak.
And although by saying so I probably jinxed it all.

mission accomplished.

I just achieved my life goal, if you know me well enough you should know what that is.

moving mountains.

Not exactly, we just found ourselves at the base of a really fuckin' big one.

And how we're going to get past, I don't know.

You will come back, you always come back. You are a liar and a heartbreaker and you're going to come back because you always come back.

pashy.

The main culprit from last night's adventures.

From what was supposed to be a harmless, innocent quiet night turned into a rowdy as piss up. I threw up three times [the sad thing was, not because of alcohol], we yelled at randoms in Williamstown, I wore a cowboy hat to Maccas in A North and saw the guy I've had my eye on for quiet some time...whilst wearing a cowboy hat, Sez drove under the influence here and crashed in my bed, tension between the boys grew, we drove around half the night looking for a goddamn bottle shop that was actually open, I poked the shit out of Mo, Jonny and I got into an argument about Hitler, I continuously lost my deck and the NIIICCCKKKKK jokes kept on coming. I wish I had photos but my camera's dead and I was just toooo drunk to give a fuck.

However it didn't change the way I feel at all, although it was good to see everyone and actually be around people, I woke up in a shitty as mood again today and it's going to be another one of those days. Such a shame, I could have gone to a party tonight and looked my best...instead I'll stay in bed away from the heat and the people and the questions and that asshole.

the pick-me-up.

the agony.

This hole that you put me in, wasn't deep enough, and I'm climbing out right now. You're running out of places to hide from me.When you go, just know that I will remember you. If living was the hardest part, we'll then one day be together. And in the end we'll fall apart, just like the leaves changing colours, and then I will be with you. I will be there one last time now. When you go, just know that I will remember you. I lost my fear of falling. I will be with you, I will be with you.

closure ?

I wrote the letter.

That's about it.

cracked.

Why, why, why did I have to see you tonight - you've broken me.

four days.

Until I see my darling Pamela Belardo again.

Yesterday was so all over the place, I loved it.

Started off with me walking out of the shower to find Diana and Natski in my house. We watched Gossip Girl [they use me well] and went down to Pier Street for lunch, where D was stalking out these guys and they knew and kept staring at her. We got ice cream and sat on the pier. This guy was singing literally at the top of his lungs so we filmed him, then headed home because life is boring.

They made me watch I Know What You Did Last Summer which is possibly one of the shittest horror movies ever. Martin and Christos randomly rocked up just as I received a text inviting me to Willi for a piss up. Once D and Natski left there was nothing else to do so we headed over to Willi. Had a mad d&m with Jake Rogers and another with Diana [Jordan's leading lady] and talked shit with Gez as per usual.

That got boring after a few drinks so we all piled into the cars [four cars to be exact] and headed down to Lavo Maccas. We all forgot that Lavo Maccas is closed from the inside at night so I got the bright idea to head to A North and eat there. So we went and filled an entire table with our asses and Maccas shit. Lana and Kath were there and they kicked back with us for a bit, shit talking and laughing at Christos.

After that we went to Jonny's and watched the boys play COD. Jonny and I looked up funny videos on the internet. Went for a drive with Jonny to drop everyone off, mad d&m around the block then came home to call the other half and big sister as they're ballbreakers and I always come home late.

Today Phil, Dean, Tom and the other half have visited me so far, the other half took my Sex & The City, still waiting for the big sister and possibly a guest appearance by Shelbs. Scored an invite with the boys to Pier Street later, might take D with me, who the fuck even knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws.\

Left meeeeeeee brokennnnnnnnnn.

broken hearted girls.

So last night we decided to hvave a chilled night, complete with the greatest steak ever tasted compliments of the chef. Only it wasn't so chilled when the big sister came with some big news and four of us headed over to the airport where we elaborated on our broken hearts and ate excessive amounts of Maccas. Of course the airport, the love of my life's favourite place. Upon arrival at home I discovered a house full of people and Hungry Jacks. The events that occurred next are somewhat a blur as my rage and sleep deprivation overclouded my common sense, but I think it goes something like:

- Pineapple Express
- X-Ray Cat
- Shirtless runs down Balaclava
- My camera and notepad full of ridiculous crap
- More Hungry Jacks
- Weed cameras
- Wedgies
- Skinned knees
- Fighting over Hades
- Funny Youtube videos
- Watching the sunrise


And of course. Bawling my eyes out to the other half.

unhappy old year.

Well my night was positively tragic.
I really cannot be bothered telling the entire story, so here are some highlights.

The drinking game when everyone found out my deepest, darkest secret and will not let me live it down. Fuck, you learn a lot about people by playing drinking games.

Arriving at Lavo station and cheering at all these randoms, getting pumped. Then we cheered and made friends with all these Indians who talked to us about cricket and whatever. Some drunk bogan came over to us asking for a lighter and would not leave us until we got off at Newport.

On the train, the entire carriage we were on was dressed in white - junkies going to Sensations. Their pupils were bigger than their eyes. I discovered my new boyfriend on the train. Philip befriended some Maoris on the other carriage and somehow indirectly started a fight on the train, which led to our whole carriage chanting "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE, OI OI OI !" The guy behind me agreed with me when I said "Stop the violence, I just want a fucking cigarette !" Good friendships were made on that train.

Newport station, Gez flipped off an entire train of people, including children, not expecting them to ALL get off the train.

I ripped out a jumper from my bag and Gez put a plastic bag on her head in an attempt to protect our hair. Didn't work according to plan.

On the way home in the taxi we tried to bribe the taxi driver to let us overload with five passengers and he wouldn't take it so Tom ran home, in storm weather. What a trooper.

Sitting outside with Phil having a d&m and a ciggie, these pill poppers came up to my house asking if some random lived here. I said no, I lived here now. We had a grand conversation and now I'm best friends with my neighbour, his girlfriend, an Irish guy and a cage fighter. They kept leaving and coming back and speaking to us, and I gave them all orange juice because I was scared they'd dehydrate and die.

"Woah man, look at how white that kitty's paws are !"
"I'm a carpenter, and I built a pool. It's only from about here to your front door and it's made out of wood and it's only about this deep -points at shin- but if there's not many of you, I was gonna say, I know it's cold and all but if you have nothing better to do you can come and sit in my pool."

"You are coming over and we are getting blind, because we are neighbours and new friends and we are getting drunk together. I probably won't remember but just come over anyway because chances are I'll already be drunk."

"Where is the music...why is there no music...I want to DANCE."

And et cetera.














Goodbye and good riddance.