I know I'm pushing everyone away and alienating myself, but I feel like in order to deal with these feelings and recent events I have no choice but to be isolated and away from the world. I feel defeated. I don't know how to react to this all, I am so relieved yet so empty; so grateful, yet so greedy; so surrounded, yet so alone. Donnie, you will never read this, but there are things I could give to no one else, parts of me that nobody could ever come in contact with and aspects of myself that nobody has ever been exposed to. I gave it all to you and you left. So it's only logical that I should feel as if I'm left with nothing. I gave you my all and you're walking away...it's all so very cliched.
Aleksander, I hope you exist and can read this someday. I pray to whatever God there is, that I will get to meet you someday.
