well wishing.

So many people just signed in on MSN and banked up the little pop up things all the way to the top of my laptop screen, and last night was shit on so many levels.









I am now sitting and eating Dominos pizza, oh the joys of life.

williamstown festival.

It's tonight.
It's probably better known as a collective event to bring together every dickhead in the western suburbs and encourage them to get drunk off their brains, get stoned off their faces, before passing out on a lovely patch of grass and waiting for the ambos to come and peel them off the ground and throw them in hospital ready to pump their stomachs from all the alcohol and god-knows-what-else they've intoxicated their bodies with.
With the always-joyful prospect of bumping into an ex, a parent or a family friend while holding a cigarette/joint/Cruiser and looking completely shitfaced whether or not you are. You look shitfaced, because everyone else around you is shitfaced, and therefore it's only natural for you to adopt the signature look of your environment. If you were surrounded by trees, you'd probably take a tree-like stance, of course. So why not imitate people who are drunk and high beyond the point of coherence ?




So why am I going again ? I suppose it beats staying at home watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.









...Or is it ?

Captain Underpants. Fuck oath.

the L word.

My new obsession.

such a lonely day.

Wow, I have not written a blog in a while. Sorry but I've been a bit busy...screw it, I've been an apathetic bitch and I completely forgot. Right this moment I am sitting in my empty house waiting for my romantic spaghetti sauce for two to cook. Yes, I am the only person dining here tonight. I like leftovers.

My mother drove away for two and a half hours to help her boyfriend renovate his house in Sale so they can rent it out. She seemed to think it was a good idea to leave me all alone.
Well wrong on two levels Mother Dearest - one, I could have a house party and completely destroy the house; two, I could do the complete opposite and completely destroy the house out of complete boredom and as it is a more exciting and rather humane prospect as opposed to pulling my fingernails off one by one.

It's times like these I really dread being single.

Don't get me wrong, it is not like I'm seeking anyone at all. All the arguments, problems, heartache, annoying fucking shit that I cannot be bothered with, what for ? So it can end as soon as it starts ? Relationships and I have never been on the same page. I look at some of my more relationship-friendly friends and I wonder why they put themselves that. Do we really fall in love, or do we fall in love with the idea of love ? Is it even worth it in the end ? Sure you can fall in love with someone, and give them your all, and have them give you something in return, but when the relationship hits a brick wall do you raise the white flag or carry on ? How do people know when to pursue the relationship ?
Honestly, it's just bullshit.
My friend just broke up with her boyfriend and truth be told she is too good for him anyway. I don't get what she was doing with the dope in the first place. But the amount of hurt and bothersome theatrics that went on while they were together makes me wonder why people would even bother in the first place. Sure, you can learn life lessons, but if you abolish the idea of romantic relationships altogether you won't have to learn lessons for any one reason. Life lessons my ass, not having sex with someone other than your boyfriend is not an applicable life lesson. For example, nuns. How does any of this benefit them in their lives ? Don't be ridiculous, that's just an excuse to say 'Let's pretend this relationship wasn't a total waste of time.'

However I look at people like my mother who are truly happy in their relationship and genuinely want to wake up to see that one person and go to sleep looking at that same person. While all of this may make me dry retch at the thought, some people find this sweet and loving. Call me crazy or heartless [actually just call me heartless] but I just do not understand. If it's just my mind or the fact that I refuse to understand, I don't know. But sometimes, just sometimes, the happiness and companionship makes it almost look worthwhile.

And now as I look over to the stove where my amazing pasta sauce is sizzling away, I cannot help but turn over the possibilities of relationships that I've rejected. What if I hadn't ? Would I see this all in a different way, or would the probable failure of these petty links to each other make me even more bitter and adamant on the subject ? Would I open myself up easier for the sheer want of being loved, or close myself in out of fear of being hurt ? How would I see myself above everyone else ?
And how would I see the male species, oh God.
Maybe it all isn't how I see it from the outside, or inside from that matter.
Maybe companionship isn't a necessarily bleak prospect. Maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there for all of us.


Or maybe I'm just doomed to enjoy my spaghetti alone.

amusement.

Someone come and entertain me.
My mother left me alone for today and tomorrow.
Steff's meant to be coming over.
But she's coming later.
Which sucks.


I HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT LOOK UP RANDOM SHIT ON PHOTOBUCKET.

And of course, Cyanide & Happiness.



















Now I'm listening to the Backstreet Boys. Charming.
Why do I even post these blogs half the time they make no sense, and the other half is just me rambling and complaining about how asexual the world is.

bring me the horizon.

suicide season.

all i've done all day is watch the dark knight and name my oversized teddy bear aleksandr petrovsky - after my favourite sex & the city man.
despite the fact that he was in his 50s and had a vasectomy. he was cute.

her petrovsky

my petrovsky

disturbance.

It makes me sick to believe that people will go to such measures to ensure their fifteen minutes of fame.
Reality television being the main culprit.
Why and how can people exploit themselves to the point where it is almost humanely impossible to find even the most utter shred of respect for themselves, yet expect the public to treat them with the same dignity as they would a regular joe walking the street, minding their business ?
How can people actually sit back and watch themselves become a complete fool in the public eye ?
Lastly, but certainly not least...how do people live with themselves after they exploit themselves so explicitly and disrespectfully to themselves ?



.....lulz.

one:

when people call celebrities 'stars'.
there is nothing 'star-like' about them.
are they giant balls of gas and flame ?
are they five-pointed shapes ?
are they twinkling dots in the night sky ?


no. they are people.



regular people who basically got plucked off the street one day to act in movies, or sing on cds, or be filthy rich for nothing, or take too many drugs and survive, or show their private parts all over the internet.

star (noun - stär) 1) a. A self-luminous celestial body consisting of a mass of gas held together by its own gravity in which the energy generated by nuclear reactions in the interior is balanced by the outflow of energy to the surface, and the inward-directed gravitational forces are balanced by the outward-directed gas and radiation pressures.




star.

not a star.

stars.

not stars.

star.

not a star.


the end.

autumn.

and i am sick once again.
welcome march.



i found it funny.
no scrap that, it's fucking hilarious.