happy birthday to me, hahahaha.
it was my birthday yesterday, and between getting my learners permit and going to dinner there was not much time to write a blog up.
i had a chill day, nothing special. didn't feel like a birthday but then again it hasn't felt like my birthday since i turned thirteen.
i'm scared of growing up, hence i hate birthdays. i hate the joyfulness the day brings for people who really couldn't care less about you except that one particular day on which you were supposedly born - how many other people were born on your birthday ? and you should only rightfully have a minute to yourself, the minute that you were born on. i was born on 11:58 pm. i stayed up waiting for it so i could wish myself a happy sixteenth birthday.
and the presents, the cake, the candles, and that fucking song - when did it all become necessary for these superficial supposedly-joyful extras to be present on a birthday ? 'you can't have a birthday without the birthday song', screw you i can have a birthday any way i want it. it's my birthday after all. how can people dictate to me how i wish to celebrate my birthday ? apparently sixteen years old is a milestone. well my prime choice to celebrate this milestone was to sit in my room all day and watch dvds.
but no. i had to attend school, pretend to be overwhelmed by the well-wishes and happiness in the room when i only wanted to tolerate it from people i spoke to more than twice a year, went to get my learners and crapped my pants to find out i'd scored a 94% and i'd gotten them [which is what i REALLY wanted for my birthday, i'll admit], was taken to dinner against my own will [i should have attended the football, but not really - richmond lost to collingwood a measly 97-51] and ate the most disgraceful excuse for pasta i've ever mustered up. the upside to it was having a best friend like steff, who sent me roses and an oversized teddy bear and came with me to the atrocious dinner.
this is the furthest i can get from my next birthday. an entire year away.
