party people.

Yep. That's us.
Last night was Shelby's 16th and it was officially one of the best parties ever known to man.
Not because anyone was drunk or high off their face, or because people had contests 'who can puke the fastest' or because people were having sex in alleyways.
No, this was great in everyone's opinion because nothing was broken, nothing was stolen, no fights erupted, nobody got [too] drunk and there was no need for the cops to arrive.
It was just everyone who knew and loved Shelby [well, most people...] gathered together to sing her happy birthday with a tower of pink cupcakes.
I didn't buy her a card so to accompany her deck I wrote her a note on a shitty piece of A4 paper which she thought was hilarious and I'll be fucked if she doesn't keep that.
And I also made friends with someone I used to hate in a matter of minutes just because she bothered to talk to me. I think we were both pleasantly surprised.
Only one thing dampened my evening but that can go unsaid; the entire event was a success and Shelby was so happy.
Julia's entire deck got wasted by the end of the night, I think she had like three left or something? And Shelby and I had full decks...the effects of smoking reds, nobody wants to share with you :D And there's a certain boy I really could have seen myself with but I think he was more interested in my friend which kind of breaks my heart to think about as I never wanted to lose him in the first place, but that's okay, it always happens to me. I should be used to it by now.
It still kind of stings though but oh well. What does he care?
I found someone else I'd like to kiss, pity he's supposedly with a friend of mine and none of the girls will let me so much as gaze in his direction. Thanks for the heads up guys. Not.
Oh aaaaaand Amanda peed on the kerb and it went all the way down to the road...and the best bit is she wasn't even drunk.
And we all hopped on some random van in the middle of nowhere to take pictures before Amy and Brittney decided to hop into some random guy's car for a drive [Amanda and I later found out that everyone knew him except us].
Tosser pulled me aside and had a lovely chat with me, I honestly thought he was drunk but he said he was sober, he seemed sober too so maybe come to think of it he really was sober.
Everyone said their goodbyes at the end of the night and went off home, some people casually wandering around the streets like 'what the fuck am I still doing here?'
And us girls invaded Shelby's kitchen to eat dry chicken skewers and cold potatoes made by yours truly, which we'd saved all night from the masses so we could salvage them later.
We then piled into Shelby's bedroom and got warm as by that time it was freezing and we were all in attire such as singlets and...shit.
Then Sean off his tits of course argued with his mother to drive to Maccas and then the city and gave her an ultimatum - cheer up or go to bed.
That was definitely the highlight of the entire night.

Happy 16th Birthday Shelby
Happy 16th Birthday Ruth
Happy 17th Birthday Amba
Happy 16th Birthday me :)

sweet sixteen.

happy birthday to me, hahahaha.

it was my birthday yesterday, and between getting my learners permit and going to dinner there was not much time to write a blog up.
i had a chill day, nothing special. didn't feel like a birthday but then again it hasn't felt like my birthday since i turned thirteen.
i'm scared of growing up, hence i hate birthdays. i hate the joyfulness the day brings for people who really couldn't care less about you except that one particular day on which you were supposedly born - how many other people were born on your birthday ? and you should only rightfully have a minute to yourself, the minute that you were born on. i was born on 11:58 pm. i stayed up waiting for it so i could wish myself a happy sixteenth birthday.
and the presents, the cake, the candles, and that fucking song - when did it all become necessary for these superficial supposedly-joyful extras to be present on a birthday ? 'you can't have a birthday without the birthday song', screw you i can have a birthday any way i want it. it's my birthday after all. how can people dictate to me how i wish to celebrate my birthday ? apparently sixteen years old is a milestone. well my prime choice to celebrate this milestone was to sit in my room all day and watch dvds.
but no. i had to attend school, pretend to be overwhelmed by the well-wishes and happiness in the room when i only wanted to tolerate it from people i spoke to more than twice a year, went to get my learners and crapped my pants to find out i'd scored a 94% and i'd gotten them [which is what i REALLY wanted for my birthday, i'll admit], was taken to dinner against my own will [i should have attended the football, but not really - richmond lost to collingwood a measly 97-51] and ate the most disgraceful excuse for pasta i've ever mustered up. the upside to it was having a best friend like steff, who sent me roses and an oversized teddy bear and came with me to the atrocious dinner.

this is the furthest i can get from my next birthday. an entire year away.

shrove tuesday.

Well today was Shrove Tuesday and we made pancakes in religion class.
I think I consumed roughly 152 grams of sugar from golden syrup alone, give or take a few grams.
I've been carrying the golden syrup around with me all day.
It made me feel higher than an airoplane...oh how I fear those long vessels of doom.
I was so hyperactive today then of course what comes up must go down...of course right before I entered my Legal SAC.
I think I went alright; for a kid who didn't study.
Oh and I just spent a few hours with Laura and Dean, my favourites. Fiona joined for a while. Fiona and I discovered you can put golden syrup with practically anything from McDonalds, and it will taste fine. Reeeeeally fine.
We also discovered that no matter how hard you throw her phone on the sidewalk it will always work :|
Two days to go.

The other picture got deleted so I had to find a new one. I think it's obvious that I like cupcakes ?

reality of.

Today I got to thinking. We see God as the almighty, divine power who holds our lives in His hands, our destinies set out before Him and the maps of our lives written by Him; yet we are still plagued by our every day decisions made possible by the free will God has willingly given us. How exactly does this work ? If God does not make a set fate for us, and allows us to make decisions for ourselves and unfold our own destinies, how is it that He can know where we are headed and basically dictate how our lives will unfold ? Why do people say 'It was their time to die, God wanted it this way...' if all of our actions are just a figment/product of the outcome of our free will and our choices ? And clearly, there are some people in this world [perhaps somewhat like myself] who see no point in life. They see life as an unwilling, pointless occurrence and that their existence will serve no great purpose in the world which will supposedly be saved by God someday but no doubt end anyway. Why do we want to achieve so much in our lives when it's obvious when we die our accomplishments, blemishes, failures and hopes will wash away with our skin and bones. Notice how I did not place a question mark after the previous remark; it was a rhetorical question. Why would God give life to those who do not want it, and take the lives of those who do ? How is it their free will to die and our free will to live ? Considering that Christians are not expected to believe in predetermined fate yet believe that God has a set plan for us and it will unfold as we go by day-to-day routines and hurdles seems almost absurd. And if it is true, and we do have a set path, we are never revealed this plan - if it were truly in our free will we'd be exposed to it and realize the outcomes and consequences our possible choices will make; we would be exposed to the reality of our choices, rather than kept in the dark and make decisions based on blind opinion. And if it false, God does not have a set plan for us, meaning He does not know what/how our lives will unfold and become and therefore He does not know everything, making Him less divine and more imperfect. Are we living to fulfill God's plans, or are God's plans existing to fulfill us ?

new life, new love, new start.

i am sophia and i am not here for your entertainment.
i am fifteen, sixteen in four days.
i never want to grow up.
i live in melbourne, australia and i hate it here.
i think i hate it because everyone i hate lives here.
i'm yet to hate anyone in any other states or places.
my toenails are always painted black.
i hate the feel of eyelashes without mascara.
alcohol repels me, so very much.
i idolize marla singer.
i love to draw, write and talk, just like most people.
i love to argue about why things are the way they are and the relevance of life altogether.
i'm very pessimistic and cynical, and say things i really shouldn't say out loud often.
i wear two crosses around my neck.
i enjoy rearranging and redecorating my space.
i wear glasses for reading but i usually can't be bothered taking them off.
i don't make plans for the future.
my favourite flavour chewing gum is blueberry.
i have ten piercings - i want many more - and no tattoos yet.
i count adolf hitler as the most influential man of all time.
alice in wonderland is my favourite disney movie.
money makes me happy yet angry at once.
i always smell like chanel chance.
i prefer winter, because it's never usually seen as a beautiful time.
i find splendor in the oddest things.
i adore getting butterflies in my stomach.
i'm never sure of anything.
especially myself.




small imperfections in an otherwise perfect world, where there's no such thing as perfection.